Monday, 14 March 2011

Is BLOOD thicker than ... LOVE n CARE ?

I read this article in The Hindu the other day and a pandora's box of emotions seemed to have opened up within me. The reason being that my son was born not out of my flesh n blood but rather from my heart. Yes, I'm an adoptive parent. To me and S, G is our son, our only child. Whenever someone tells us that we've done a noble deed by adopting a baby, we tell them that, in fact, he has done us a favour by coming into our lives. I'm quite sure that these people have no idea about the queue that awaits an adoptive parent at the adoption agencies.

With the coming of G, our lives got a new meaning, a new direction. He has filled our life with love and happiness. Today, there's no bigger joy in our lives than to see him grow, and nurture him in the best way possible. Yes, we scold him when he misbehaves, we try to show him reason when he is unreasonable, we are thrilled to bits when he hugs and kisses us, and are indulgent when he does something naughty in a nice way. Around me, I have friends which biological children and they treat them no differently from how we treat G.

Which springs the question in my mind that what happens when & if G someday wants to find his biological parents ? Or, will he face an identity crisis when he learns & understands that he is adopted ? I think that if he ever wanted to know about his biological parents, I would try to help him out in his quest, although I too have very limited knowledge about it. To the latter question, I wish that the answer is NO, he will not be insecure or face an identity crisis. I hope and pray that G grows up to be a well-rounded person who is secure in the knowledge that his parents, that's us, love and care for him and would stand by him through his highs & lows.

In fact, in our own mythology we have the example of Lord Krishna who was brought up by His adoptive parents because His biological parents were facing an adverse situation which was a threat to their child's well-being. In fact, Yashoda and Nanda, Lork Krishna's adoptive parents, may have been more of an influence on Him than His biological parents, Devaki & Vasudeva.

Now coming to the article quoted above, I feel that maybe Melanie always felt different from her adoptive parents since she looked very different from them or their other children. I feel that she should view her reunion in a positive light and instead of feeling a sense of loss for the time that she has spent away from her birth parents and siblings, she should see this as an opportunity where she can help them in some way, which she can because of the education & other benefits that her adoptive parents have given her. Also, like a friend mentioned, she should be happy that she has two sets of parents both of whom sought to bring happiness into her life.

Here's hoping that all stories in life have a Happy Ending.


eep said...

I remember reading this article and it really stayed with me because it was a very different take on adoption - one that is not voiced very often... And I agree with you that its the difference in appearances that probably made a huge impact in Melanie's case...
I wondered how her adoptive parents feel about her sense of estrangement.. resentful/confused or what?
I'm sure all will go smoothly with your G :)

Piscean Angel said...

Thanks, eep.

Madhurima said...

Often things remain unsaid and may be I will take this opportunity to tell you that I feel so proud each time I remember the way you came to lab and told us about 'G'.He is immensely special and you guys are an adorable family. I have known quite a few cases of adoptive families and I feel that it all depends on how you bring up G. With so much love, am sure you all will cross the bridge fine when the day comes.
good luck and love always...

Piscean Angel said...

Thanks, Madhurima.